Recently on a Facebook page a lady posted saying she is Métis and has a Métis ancestor. The ancestor happens to be my great x 3 grandfather who is from the Red River. She claims that he was a colonizer amongst some other negative things.

I dug further into who she was as I do not know her as a relative nor does my family. To me, she looks non-Indigenous but I know some Indigenous peoples are white presenting. While digging further I saw she asked about moving onto a Métis settlement. 🤔 Interesting I thought. So is there a selfish reason for claiming to be Métis or is there a genuine need to reconnect? Only she can answer that.

Reading her post disheartened me. She doesn’t know the family history very well. I shared her post with my dad and he said someone needs to set her straight. I agree.

Another family member commented on the post and the lady commented back. The original poster’s replies told me she hadn’t done her research as there were gaps in her understanding.

When people with no connection to family history start posting negative claims it hurts the family. It perpetuates a negativeness in the eyes of those who do not know us or our history; a history that has been passed down from generation to generation. There is little regard or recognition for how her posts affect those with lived experience.

It is no wonder when people claim to be Indigenous there is sometimes hesitancy to believe it. Good research consists of thorough reading, interviewing, and seeking out other additional information. It also includes looking at resources that are valid and reliable. Who is the author? Whose perspective is being told? Are there biases present?

I have no problem with people reconnecting. The issue I have is promoting information that is not accurate as it can be damaging.

Who would have thought having a Parent Teacher Interview would leave a teacher in trauma response?

Most times parents are pretty good when you talk to them. They are concerned about their child or they just want to hear the good things we have to say. In all my years of teaching I have never had an interview quite like tonight.

To start the interview the parent asked why his child had a 47%. I spoke about missing assignments, low marks on assignments, and a low test mark. I also discussed the lack of seeking help when asked by myself or the EA in the classroom. At no point in time did the parent acknowledge the child and their lack of helping themselves or lack of self advocacy. Instead the parent placed the blame on me. He offered me teaching advice (he is not an educator). He told me I was unapproachable and that their child never had issues like this in previous years. He also told me I should be talking to the previous teacher about their child.

My mouth was literally opened wide in disbelief. I did tell the parent I was offended by what was said. I also mentioned I have been teaching since 2002. That didn’t sit well with him and he said that told him I wasn’t willing to change. I was still in shock so I redirected the conversation as it was going nowhere.

Even with trying to redirect it didn’t help much. I just sat and listen to the parent and agreed to things he said. I told him that our 15 minutes were up and I had another call to make.

When I got off the phone I cried.

I analyzed the situation with a couple of friends who happen to be Indigenous educators. We all said the same thing: trauma. This situation re-traumatized me. I felt worthless. The parent made me feel inadequate and that I wasn’t doing my job properly.

I know that’s not the case but when you live your whole life feeling inadequate and worthless it’s hard not to feel that way again when someone belittles you.

A few years ago I had an in-person interview with this parent. He said I am probably one of those people who read Harlequin romance novels. I didn’t appreciate the remark and said “actually I’m reading this book right now”. It was Jordan Tootoo’s book. He never said anything after that. I know in that instance he was trying to make me feel less than him.

Rather than speak from a place of superiority, speak from a place of love and understanding. Thinking you can tell others what to do when you have no experience is totally uncalled for.

I know I won’t be having a parent teacher interview with this parent by myself ever again.

I belong to several teacher social media groups. I even started one because I saw the need for teachers to have access to grassroots Indigenous peoples and resources. It’s important for teachers to have a good grasp of foundational knowledge.

In the field of education there are many acronyms. In my province one that is frequently used is “FNMI” (First Nation, Métis, and Inuit). Many educators use this acronym without thinking about it. I know I used it before without thinking of the ramifications.

While working away from the classroom and working on curriculum I learned a lot. One of the first things I learned was the acronym FNMI should not be used. Many Elders do not like it. It diminishes us and it also pan-indigenous us. And in reality what group of people identify by an acronym?

I have noticed when people address the acronym there are some people who react in a negative manner. These people are usually non-Indigenous or people who claim to be Indigenous. They have little to no ties to community or our identity. On a teacher social media page one teacher said they weren’t using an acronym, they were using a shortened version of the words. 🤷🏽‍♀️ Ummm, nope. It’s definitely an acronym.

When we start being cognizant of the terminology we use we can move forward in a positive manner. “Indigenous Peoples” is a good start rather than an acronym. Better yet, use the specific group someone belongs to. And best of all use our languages. For example, instead of Cree woman use nehiyaw iskwew. Cree is a colonized word for us.

June 21 in Canada is National Indigenous Peoples Day. At school we celebrate and recognize the day by having the students participate in activities that reflect our cultures. It was a great day at our school, I only wish we had more time in the day.

I think we’ve come a long way in terms of attitudes towards National Indigenous Peoples Day. I remember one year a member of the administration team stated “today we’re celebrating everyone because I’m sick and tired of the phone calls I get from parents about the day.” This statement made me mad but it was reflective of the attitudes and beliefs in the area (which are still evident).

In today’s day and age we need to be cognizant of what we say and what we do. The “subtle” negative reactions of the administrator were noticed by other Indigenous staff. The rolling of the eyes, the abrupt reaction to anything Indigenous did not go unnoticed. I’m just happy to say that individual is no longer there.

I’ve witnessed a change and though the change has taken awhile it’s nice to see.

Recently a friend posted on social media about an ongoing issue we see a lot of in the world today: cultural appropriation. Instead of folks looking at things in a different way some people chose to misinterpret her intentions and she paid the price by having people lash out at her and post about her on their personal pages for the whole world to see.

There was a fiddle competition where a non-Indigenous person competed and won. This fiddle competition was in conjunction with a pow wow. Nowhere in the advertising did it state that it was open to all people nor did it state it was for Indigenous individuals. That being said it was advertised with the pow wow and could lead one to believe it was an Indigenous event. Lack of details on the poster lead to assumptions. I think it’s important to be clear with expectations so it is outlined for everyone.

The issue I have with my friend’s situation is the retaliation of some individuals on social media. I think it’s disgusting how adults use social media to gather support and put others down. I believe what she experienced was lateral violence. And from my own personal experience with lateral violence I know how deeply it can hurt.

Perhaps what I have the biggest issue with is the dismissal of an Indigenous woman bringing up cultural appropriation. This woman is big on decolonization, social justice, and many other pro-Indigenous topics. She is a warrior. One of the people posting online said that the post made was “directed at a kid because another kid didn’t win”. When Indigenous Peoples speak of cultural appropriation and other topics it isn’t because we want to get our way. It is because for many years the general public hasn’t listened to our concerns and we want to bring them forth. Instead of hastily responding to your feelings of discomfort sit, listen, and hear what we have to say. You might actually learn something…

It is important that authentic Indigenous voices are heard and amplified especially when speaking of Indigenous topics. It saddens me to see filtered content. I joined a Facebook group (Métis/Indigenous Book Club) which I thought would amplify our voices, and while it does to a certain degree, the filtering is disheartening and disgusting.
*And on a side note, my Métis friend was kicked out of it for raising awareness.

A few members raised concerned over a “Métis” author (David Bouchard) and his authenticity and how he is telling stories that are not his own. Fair enough. I know when using Indigenous authors I stay away from that particular author. Someone brought up Joseph Boyden the other day and how he deceived the public by saying he was Indigenous when he is not. That post was deleted. It actually was a good post with many speaking to raising authentic Indigenous voices and how using people who are not Indigenous harm us.

Amplify and support authors who have lived experiences. Read their stories. Learn from us…with us.

Racism in Canada is still alive and well. There are many forms both subtle and not so subtle. While shopping yesterday I was proudly wearing a shirt from maskawitehew. It is a purple shirt with an Indigenous woman on it and it says “resilient”. It’s one of my favourite T-shirts. I walked into a store with my mom, she was looking for some pants for my dad. One of the employees immediately came to me and asked if I needed any help. I told him that I didn’t need any but my mom was looking for some pants. He stood near me and then pretended to fix some clothes in a rack. He did not offer my mom any help. Finally, he said “well I’ll just be over there if you need any help”. He slowly moved away from me. He continued to “fix” racks of clothes nearby. I walked over to my mom and told her about the incident and how I felt uncomfortable. I also told her that I was going to a different part of the store. In the back of my head I knew if he followed me further I would ask him why he was following me. He didn’t follow me. I didn’t stay too much longer in the store as my experience with him made me feel uncomfortable.

It’s instances like these which anger me but also indicates to me that we have a long way to go. Will we ever have reconciliation in this country?

I was followed in a different store a couple of years ago. I remember telling my friend, who is also Indigenous, about my experience. Her reaction made me sad. She said “I don’t go looking for things like that.” Well, neither do I but I am cognizant that is it happening. When we sweep things like racism under the carpet we are enabling the behaviour. We ALL need to do better and be better.

My first experience with death was when I was in grade 8. My grandfather died of a massive heart attack. I took it pretty hard as I was “grandpa’s Angel”. In our culture we always have a wake and a funeral. I saw his body for the first time at the wake. I cried. It hurt so much to see him laying motionless in the coffin. Everyone knew I needed my time with him. I spent about 30 minutes with my grandpa uninterrupted. Someone even brought me a chair so I could sit with him. It was healing even though I was in so much pain. I find being able to spend time with our loved ones after they pass is very helpful in the grieving process. It allows for closure.

My husband’s parents both passed away. His mom passed away first and his dad a few years later. For me, the funeral was different. I didn’t feel a sense of closure. In fact his dad did not have a funeral. There was no wake or no viewing of the bodies. I had to grieve in a different way than I was used to. To this day I still feel there was no real closure, but I know not everyone handles death in the same manner.

Covid had brought on different ways in which we handle deaths. For Indigenous Peoples this is very difficult. There is a limited amount of people allowed at the funeral. At wakes we cannot spend as much time with the person who passed away. Our grieving process is interrupted.

Recently a friend passed away. I find myself grieving in a different way. I feel a lump in my throat and my heart feels heavy. I could not attend the wake as I was isolating. The day of my friend’s funeral I was done isolating, but due to restrictions his funeral was for immediate family.

In the midst of the pandemic we need to think about other ways to grieve, unfortunately. My dad says our “church” is the bush and he’s absolutely right. Being in the bush and connecting with the land is where I find my peace. Yesterday I spent some time making an offering. It lightened my heart a bit.